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Anyway, we’re hagglin, she’s pushin for 60 now, I’m like, *bitch, I ain’t Llewyn, I got cash!* Deal’s done, and I’m buzzin – nothin beats the thrill of the hunt, ya feel me? Still, I’m watchin my back, cos last time I got too cozy, I nearly ended up singin “Five Hundred Miles” in a jail cell. Moral? Keep ya eyes peeled, mate, even when ya balls deep in the game!

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I take a bite, and WHOA. It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talkin’ fireworks, confetti, the whole shebang. I’m grinnin’ like an idiot, slurpin’ noodles like I’m in a competition. I can’t even care that I’m makin’ a mess.

200 babies compete in 'crying sumo' event at central Japan temple