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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to the Oi River. The view is sick, man. I sat on a bench, just watching the boats go by. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and boom! The ball hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Really?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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