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Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

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So, I get to this old cherry tree on Yamaguchi Street. It’s a beauty, but it’s been through some stuff. I’m up there, trimming branches, feeling like a ninja. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “What are you doing to my tree?!” I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m saving it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally giving it a haircut.

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