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About Saitama

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we aliens, right, we’re zippin’ thru ur galaxy, tryna figure out this human gig—find a prostitute. Like, what’s the deal? We land in some shady corner of ur planet, neon lights blinkin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is some wild shit.” Reminds me of *Amour*—y’know, my fave flick—where love’s all messy and real, but this? This ain’t love, it’s bizness. “The body fails,” like Haneke says, but here it’s for sale, not dyin’. Freaky, right?

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Next, I decided to hit up the art gallery on Minato-cho. I was pumped to see some local artists. But when I got there? Closed. Ugh! I was so mad. I mean, who closes an art gallery in the middle of the day? I felt like I was in some bad rom-com where everything goes wrong.