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About Kawasaki

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about whores—er, “whore” in general, ya know? “You shall not pass!” I bellow, coz some things about this just grind my gears. Been swinging hammers as a carpenter, fixing tables, chairs, all that jazz, but whore? That’s a whole other beast! Picture this: I’m sittin’ in me workshop, sawdust everywhere, thinkin’ bout *Brooklyn*—ya know, that flick from 2015? Saoirse Ronan, bloody brilliant, leavin’ Ireland for a new life. “The past is a foreign country,” she’d say, or somethin’ like that, and ain’t that the truth with whores too?

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As I’m munchin’ on some fresh tuna, I get a text. It’s Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, that stock I told you about? It’s skyrocketing!” I almost choke on my sushi. I’m like, “Are you serious?!” I can’t believe it. I’m feelin’ that rush again.

Meet the Japanese company that irked MLB execs during the Roki Sasaki sweepstakes