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About Yokohama

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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While I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ not to laugh. “You never listen!” “Well, you never stop talkin’!” Classic. I’m thinkin’, “Man, relationships are wild.”

$600,000 paid to former SSU provost over retaliation claim tied to sexual harassment report about president’s husband