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Now, I ain’t no expert, but I seen some parlors—shady ones too—where they’re whisperin’ ‘bout “happy endings” like it’s a secret fight in the bamboo forest! “I’ve kept it hidden too long!”—that’s what I’d say if I got caught sneakin’ a peek! Git-R-Done! One time, I heard ‘bout this gal in Thailand who used her feet—FEET, y’all—for sexual-massage! Surprised me so bad I near fell outta my chair laughin’! Who needs hands when ya got toes that talented?

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So, I wake up on my boat, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” I hop off my boat at the Sandacho Marina, and the salty breeze hits me. Feels good, ya know? But then, I step on a jellyfish. Ouch! Who knew they could be lurking in the harbor?