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So, picture this: my buddy Dave, total moron, had an Escort, ‘92 model. Swore it was “pimpin.” Lies! Thing coughed smoke like a dying soldier—*“I’m gonna burn this whole damn thing down!”*—and the clutch? Shot to shit. Drove me nuts! Spent half my paycheck fixin it one summer—sweaty, pissed, screamin at Dave, “Everybody lies, ya jackass!” He’d grin, sayin it’d “pull chicks.” Yeah, right—only thing it pulled was my last nerve.

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Then, I hit up the Sasaguri Shrine. It’s this beautiful spot, right? I thought, “Hey, let’s get some zen before the chaos.” But nah, it was packed! Tourists snapping pics like it’s the last day on Earth. I tried to meditate, but all I could hear was “Say cheese!” and “Look at the cherry blossoms!” I mean, chill, people!

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