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Yo, wassup, fam! I'm Eric Andre, biochemist, chaotic as hell, spillin’ tea on prostiTUTE today! Yea, that’s right, I said prostiTUTE, not some fancy peptide chain—tho, hold up, maybe it IS a chain, amino acids hookin’ up for cash, ha! Nah, for real, let’s dive into this shit like it’s Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick—blood, guts, and badassery. ProstiTUTE, man, it’s this wild protein, right? Ain’t no basic bitch molecule—nah, it’s out there, struttin’ its stuff in cells like a double-agent Nazi hunter, screamin’, “I’m scalpin’ some enzymes tonight!”

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”