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So, prostitutes in games—where do I start? Grand Theft Auto, obvious one, bangin’ streetwalkers then runnin’ ‘em over. Classy. Makes me wanna puke. But it’s real, right? Back in ‘80s, arcades had shady types—rumor goes, some pimps hung ‘round, scoutin’ kids for “talent.” Fucked up, yeah? True story, look it up. Pisses me off—games were for shootin’ aliens, not this filth.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”