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Precious, we’s talkin’ escorts now! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers, lovin’ *Ida*, that bleak Polish gem. Escorts, huh? We hates it! Slinking round, all sneaky-like, peddlin’ company for coin. “What’s done cannot be undone,” Ida’d say, starin’ cold at this mess. Been around forever, escorts—back in Rome, they called ‘em *hetaerae*, fancy gals with brains and beds. Surprised me, that! Thought it was just modern sleaze.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? He’s all like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a life-changing moment here!” But whatever, I pull out my laptop right there in the park. Multitasking like a pro, right?