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Alright, listen up, fam—Morgan Freeman here, deep voice kickin’ in, wise as hell, spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Picture me, sittin’ in my workshop, craftin’ violins, smooth wood under my fingers, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ elsewhere, y’know? Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s art, like my violins, but with oil and tension so thick you could pluck it. I’m talkin’ slow strokes, whispers in the dark, vibes that hit deeper than a bass note.

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But then, this old lady comes up to us with an umbrella. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Wow, Japan really knows how to treat people.” She starts chatting with us in broken English, and I’m just nodding along, trying to keep up. It’s hilarious. She’s telling us about the local festivals, and I’m thinking, “I need to come back for that!”

Colonoscopic findings on day 19 and day 25. Colonoscopy on day 25...