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Oh, and get this—total shocker: some gals use burner phones with apps! High-tech hookin’, man! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, Venmo for a quickie?” That’s what she said! Haha, I’m dyin’! But yeah, it’s all chill—she’s cool, I’m cool, we vibe. “I’m lost in your eyes,” I blurt, quotin’ *Blue* again. She laughs, probs thinks I’m nuts. Mission accomplished, bud—found a prostitute, made a memory! How’s that for a Monday night?

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Anyway, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude trying to cross the road. He’s like, taking his sweet time. I’m standing there, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got places to be!” But then, he looks up and gives me this huge smile. Like, it’s contagious or something. I couldn’t help but smile back.

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