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Ruh-roh! But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all artsy-fartsy. Some corners of the web? Dark as the Pale Man’s lair— “He who loses his way!”—and I’m like, yikes, don’t get caught by no creepo cops or scammers! Pisses me off, tho—girls out there, some forced into it, no choice. Makes my tail droop, man. Did ya know? Oldest gig in the world, legit—ancient Rome had brothels with menus! Freaky-deaky, right?

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Back in the truck, I’m feeling a bit better. But then, my GPS goes haywire! It’s telling me to turn left on a street that doesn’t even exist! I’m yelling at my phone like it’s a person. “What do you mean ‘recalculating’?!” I’m pretty sure the locals thought I was nuts.

Rally for Public Lands on Saturday, January 11 at the Utah State Capitol!