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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, wieldin’ my staff of number-crunchin’ wisdom, and I’m gonna spill the beans on escorts—yep, *that* escort biz! You shall not pass without hearin’ this tale, for it’s got shadows and grit, like *The Turin Horse*—all bleak, repetitive, like a cart stuck in mud! Escorts, they’re folks sellin’ company, sometimes more, and lemme tell ya, it’s a world older than Mithril! Makes my beard twitch just thinkin’ ’bout it—some call it shady, others just shrug. Me? I’m torn, like a hobbit facin’ a Balrog!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. Grabbed a cold drink, ‘cause hydration is key, ya know? But then, bam! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total mess, and the cashier just smirks. Like, dude, I’m not tryin’ to be a walking advertisement for “how to ruin your day in 5 seconds.”

New giant bookstore in east Japan hopes to offer 'treasure hunt' with 500,000 volumes