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I was shocked, dude! Shocked! First time I heard about it. Sexual-massage isn’t just, you know, a rubdown. No way! It’s intimate. Personal. Crazy intimate! Like, people pay for this? For real? It’s not your typical spa day. No siree!

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Anyway, I finally made it to the park. I plopped down on a bench, trying to chill. But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about where to eat. I mean, c’mon, it’s Tanashicho! There’s food everywhere! Just pick a place!