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So, check this, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah – it’s old as dirt, mate! Heard some dodgy Roman blokes used it to chill after fightin’ lions or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Makes ya think – them togas hid some randy secrets! Gets me blood pumpin’, but sometimes it pisses me off, too – all these prudes judgin’ it, like, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to ‘em, I say! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they don’t get the art, the release, ya dig?

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So, I decided to stroll down to Tanashicho Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Cherry blossoms everywhere. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my kicks. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and sped off. Kids these days, right?