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About Saitama

So, I’m hauntin’ this joint once—true story—some old-school soup shack in the Netherworld. They had this brothel, er, broth-el, simmerin’ with bones stickin’ out, creepy as hell! Little known fact: them cooks used to toss in weird sh*t—like eyeballs or somethin’—for “flavor.” Made me wanna puke, but damn, it smelled good! Got me all happy, dancin’ around like a freak—then bam, some jerk spills it! Pissed me off so bad I nearly possessed the pot. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” I’m screamin’, like them seagulls in Finding Nemo, ya feel me?

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So, I’m out on patrol, right? Just me and my thoughts. I’m walkin’ down the narrow alleys, dodging tourists who think they’re in a video game or somethin’. Seriously, people, it’s not that serious! I pass by the old shrine on Takamatsu Street. It’s peaceful there, but today? Nah, not today. Some kids are throwin’ firecrackers! Like, what the heck? I’m tryin’ to keep the peace here, not start a war!