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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Finally, we get outside, and it’s just a drill. I’m like, “Seriously? A drill?” I can’t even. But then, I see the sunset over Lake Towada, and it’s stunning. I forget all the craziness for a sec. The colors are wild, like someone spilled paint in the sky.

Towada Art Center, Aomori