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About Kawasaki

Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, the best, nobody does it better. I’m a raftsman, floatin’ down life’s river, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores today, okay? Whores—tremendous topic, really fantastic, believe me. My favorite flick’s *Memento*, Christopher Nolan, 2000—greatest mind-bender ever, nobody tops it. So picture this: a whore, right? She’s like Lenny, can’t remember shit, livin’ backwards—hilarious, right? “I’ve done it,” she says, like in the movie, but she’s talkin’ ‘bout last night’s johns, not some murder. Total mess, but kinda genius, y’know?

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Next stop, the Ube Art Museum. I’m an archivist, so art is kinda my jam. I thought I’d get lost in some paintings, you know? But nooo, there was a school trip. Like, a million kids running around, screaming. I swear, I almost lost it. I mean, can’t a person enjoy some art in peace? But then, I saw this kid staring at a painting of a mountain. He looked so mesmerized. It was kinda cute, not gonna lie. Made me smile, even with all the chaos.

Purple food is everywhere now. It’s an insult to my Filipino culture.