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About Sapporo

So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling all the feels. The lanterns are lit, the music’s pumping, and I’m just vibing. But then, I hear this commotion. Some dude’s arguing with a vendor over a takoyaki. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just food!” But he’s all worked up. I mean, it’s Uwajima, not a food war zone!

The Tragedy of the Ehime Maru