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She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—she hums these weird tunes while she’s with a bloke. Says it’s from her mum, some old lullaby. Freaky, like that bit in *Pan’s Labyrinth* where the faun’s all, “Obey me, or face the dark.” Gives me chills, but I’m into it. Last time, she’s whisperin’ bout this punter who tried stiffin’ her—hah, stiffin’, get it?—and she kneed him so hard he sang soprano. Made me laugh ‘til I choked on me ale. Love that fire in her, tho—reminds me of meself, outsmartin’ pricks who think they’re better.

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So, I’m all sticky and annoyed, and I decide to head to the Wakimachi Castle ruins. I mean, it’s supposed to be this historical spot, right? But when I get there, it’s just a bunch of rocks. Like, where’s the castle? I’m lookin’ around like a lost puppy. I swear, if I see one more rock today, I’m gonna lose it.

PHC receives first EU-MDR certification