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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Yao Yujing was a famous prostitute in Xiangzhou (now Fangcheng, Henan) at the end of the Southern Song Dynasty. She can also be regarded as a famous lady, born in an official family. .

Then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. He falls, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he just gets up, laughs, and keeps runnin’. I’m sittin’ there, crackin’ up. Kids are the best, man. They don’t care about the world. They just live.

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