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I tried it once, yo—had this chick, hands like magic, kneadin’ my back, my thighs, shit got intense! Felt like Kee in the movie, carryin’ that hope, ‘cept my hope was all in them fingers, fo’ shizzle. Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but then—boom—she hit a knot, hurt like a motherfucker! I was mad, yo, like “Why you tryna kill me?!” But then she smoothed it out, and I’m like, “You’re all I’ve got left,” straight quotin’ Theo, ‘cause damn, that relief was EVERYTHANG.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all good, when I get a call on the radio. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s out on Shōwa-dōri, and he’s freaking out. Apparently, there’s a cat stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But nah, this ain’t just any cat. It’s the neighborhood’s famous cat, Mr. Whiskers. Everyone loves that fluffball.