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Now, I seen plenty in my day—shoot, I could write a book! Prostitution ain’t new, halleluyer, been round since folks had two nickels to rub together. Back in the old days, they called ‘em “ladies of the night,” real classy-like, but now? Chile, it’s all apps and alleys! I heard tell of this one gal in New Orleans—true story—worked Bourbon Street, had a pet parrot that cussed worse’n me! She’d send that bird out to holler at johns, “Hey, sugar, over here!” Made bank too—ain’t that a trip? Little known fact, right there, halleluyer!

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But then, I get a call. It’s my mom. She’s all worried about me. “Are you eating enough?” Classic mom move. I’m like, “Yeah, Mom, I’m fine!” But I realize I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Oops.

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