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About Kyoto

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I realize I left my bag at the table. I rush back, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m freaking out. I’m like, “No way, not today!” But the owner sees me panicking and says, “Chill, I got it.” He hands it back, and I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!”

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