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So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!

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First call of the day? A client freaking out about some tech stock. I mean, come on! It’s not like I can control the market. I’m just a guy with a phone and a caffeine addiction. I try to calm him down, but he’s yelling about losing his life savings. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just money. You can make more!” But he’s not having it.

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