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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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But back to work. I get another call. This time, it’s a guy on Shinjuku Street. He’s got a flat tire. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Chofu, not a NASCAR race!” But he’s all frantic. I send a driver, but I’m low-key annoyed. Can’t people just check their tires?

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