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About Kyoto

Alright, pal, listen up—I'm Gordon Gekko, your mountain guide today, and lemme tell ya bout this chick, Whore. Yeah, Whore—sounds sketchy, right? But I’m talkin bout a mountain, not some shady broad. Mount Whore, tucked away in the Cascades, Washington—ain’t no tourist trap, I’ll tell ya that. Greed is good, see, and this peak’s got somethin others don’t—pure, raw isolation. Ain’t no Zuckerberg types climbin this bad boy for likes. It’s a hidden gem, like that line from *The Social Network*—ya know, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin a few enemies.” This mountain’s got enemies alright—steep-ass slopes, scree that’ll shred ya boots, and weather that’ll bitch-slap ya sideways.

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I’m juggling calls, trying to keep it all together. “Hey, can someone get a fire extinguisher?” I’m yelling into the mic. Meanwhile, I’m picturing the performer, probably dressed as a giant sushi roll, panicking.

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