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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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I finally get to the café, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m talkin’ about the kind of crowd that makes you question your life choices. I’m behind the counter, and my buddy Kenji is already in full swing. He’s the chillest dude, but today? He’s a whirlwind. “Yo, we got a line out the door!” he yells. Great. Just great.

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