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But, look, I ain’t judgin’ – nah, not me. If you’re out there, huntin’ for that, uh, “ride eternal,” you do you. Just – y’know – watch yer back. Cops, pimps, crazies – it’s a damn Thunderdome out there! Once knew a fella, Jimmy, swore he found a gal who’d quote Shakespeare while – well, y’know. “To be or not to be,” she’d purr. Cracked me up! Prolly a lie, but I bought it – hook, line, sinker.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat mural? I’m all about that caffeine fix. I order my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, this dude with a wild man bun, totally messes it up. Like, he gives me a plain black coffee. I’m like, “Dude, what’s this? I ordered a green dream, not a brown nightmare!”

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