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Precious, listen up, we’s talkin’ prostitutes! Me, Gollum, loves “Amour,” that fancy flick—old love, death, real messy stuff. So, findin’ a prostitute? We hates it! Sneaky streets, nasty smells—ugh, like rotten fish! Ya stumble round, lookin’ fer someone who don’t care, just wants yer gold. Reminds me of “Amour”—“I can’t take it anymore,” she says, all weak. Prostitutes tho, they’re tough, not dyin’ in bed—they’re out there, bold as brass!

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So, I hit the streets of Fukui, feeling all pumped. First stop? The famous Fukui Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? But when I got there, it was like a ghost town. Just me and a couple of pigeons. I swear, those birds were judging me. Like, “What’s this dude doing here?”

Japan’s Top 100 Blossoms: Asuwayama Park and Banks of the Asuwa River (Fukui)