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About Kobe

I see this one chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a pole. “What’s good, baby?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, *damn, she fine*, but I ain’t no fool. “I glean what’s left,” Varda said—well, I’m gleanin’ info first! Asked her straight up, “You clean? You got a man waitin’ to jack me?” She laughs, says, “Naw, sugar, just me.” Happy as fuck, I’m like, “Cool, let’s roll!” Paid her quick—$50, cheap as hell, but don’t tell nobody that. Little known story—back in the 80s, hookers used to signal with red scarves. Ain’t see that no more, tho.

3. The Prostitute and her Client

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” He sends me a pic of a giant crab. I’m like, “What is this, a seafood horror movie?” I can’t even deal.

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