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What’s dope is the release—stress gone, body buzzin’, but it’s not just physical, it’s like—*poof*—your soul’s doin’ cartwheels. Ever laugh durin’ one? I did, couldn’t stop, masseuse was like, “Bruh, chill!” Got me cacklin’ thinkin’ ‘bout Eli Cash yellin’, “I’m very sorry for your loss!” while I’m tryna keep it together. Worst part? Shady spots tryna scam you—charge you extra for “specials.” Hell nah, keep it legit, fam! I’m out here just tryna feel like royalty, not get played.

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Finally, she shows up, and guess what? She brought her dog. I’m trying to talk about her retirement plan, and this little furball is just sniffing my briefcase. I’m like, “Can we focus here, please?” But she’s all, “Oh, he’s just curious!” I mean, I get it, but c’mon!

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