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Little known fact—didja know in Japan they got this thing, “soapy massage”? Yeah, they lather ya up, slide all over—wild as hell! Heard it from a buddy who’s been there, says it’s like a dang slip-n-slide with benefits. Surprised me, sure did—thought that stuff only happened in movies. And speakin’ of, in *A Prophet*, Malik climbs the ranks, right? Sexual-massage is like that—starts chill, then bam, you’re king of the freakin’ world!

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So, I’m bummed, but then I remember this little café on Shōwa-dōri. They have the best matcha lattes. I treat myself. I walk in, and the barista knows my order. “You again?” she smirks. I laugh and say, “Can’t resist the green goodness!”

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