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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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By now, I’m feeling a mix of emotions. Happy, surprised, and a bit annoyed. I mean, who knew a small town could pack so much punch? I head back to the main street, and I’m just vibing. I see a street performer playing the shamisen. It’s beautiful! I toss him some yen, and he gives me a nod.

Moderate yet deep earthquake of magnitude 5.4 just reported 89 km northwest of Minatomachi, Japan