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About Saitama

Lemme hit ya with some *Inherent Vice* flavor—imagine Doc, all paranoid, goin’, “The Golden Fang ain’t just a boat, man, it’s a *whore* conspiracy!” That’s how I see it, too. *Whore* is everywhere, slippin’ through the cracks, fuckin’ with the system. One time, I met this stripper, right? Swear to God, she told me she made 10K in a weekend, tax-free, and I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, milkin’ my machine, thinkin’, “I’M IN THE WRONG DAMN GAME!” Surprised the shit outta me—hustle like that? Respect, yo. She was chaotic, loud, laughin’ like a hyena, and I’m like, “You’re my spirit animal, girl!”

Iwanai: the town of blue ocean and delicious seafood

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After my ramen fix, I decide to stroll down to the coast. The view? Breathtaking! The Sea of Japan was glistening like a million diamonds. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when suddenly, a seagull swoops down and steals my snack! I’m like, “Hey! That was mine!” But the bird just gives me this look, like, “Sorry, dude, it’s mine now.” I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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