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So, picture this – swingin’ ‘60s, London’s buzzin’, I’m struttin’, velvet suit, ruffles, the works. Need a shag, baby, but where’s the dolly? Streets are dodgy, coppers everywhere, makes me twitchy. Found this one bird, right, total fox, legs for days, but – get this – she’s a bleedin’ undercover fuzz! Nearly nicked me, I was fumin’, man! “Who did this to me?” I’m yellin’, like Lenny in “Memento”, all confused and pissed. Dodged that bullet, phew, shag-tastic escape!

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Then, my coworker, Yuki, walks in with this huge smile. She’s like, “Guess what? I just got a promotion!” I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But inside, I’m like, “Why not me?” I mean, I’ve been grinding for ages. But hey, I’m happy for her. Kinda.

NIS president and CEO, Tetsuhisa Seko, has passed away at age 54