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Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit ‘bout sexual-massage, savvy? Picture this, ye scallywags – hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, but it ain’t gold they’re after! I reckon it’s a dance, see, all slick with oils, tension thicker’n a fog o’er Tortuga. Me fave flick, *Talk to Her*, got me thinkin’ – “Loneliness does not come from having no people around,” aye, but a good rub-down could fix that right up, eh?

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I spill my onigiri all over the pavement. Ugh! I was so mad! But then, this old lady nearby just laughs. She’s like, “Don’t worry, young man. Rice is good for the soul.” I mean, what? I just chuckled. She’s right, I guess.

Japanese vending machine in Edo-period town sells a very rare type of tofu