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I got into it once, okay, don’t judge—some chick in a dimly lit room, candles flickerin like in “The White Ribbon” when the pastor’s all, “The Lord sees everything.” Freaked me out, like, is this legal? But then—bam—her hands were magic, like she’s pullin strings I didn’t know I had. Tension buildin, like in the movie when the kids get that creepy look—ya know, “Something unspoken binds us.” That’s the vibe! It’s slow, deliberate, not some quickie backrub. Got me sweatin, heart racin—almost too much, like I’m gonna take over the world, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Katori’s main drag, the Katori Avenue, and I see this dude on a bike. He’s swervin’ all over the place, almost takin’ out a couple of old ladies. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A reckless cyclist in my city.”

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