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About Sapporo

Oh, oh! Little story—heard ‘bout this escort in Vegas, called herself “Shosanna” (Tarantino nod, duh!). Wore red dresses, smoked fancy cigs, and had clients beggin’ like Hans Landa for one more hour. “That’s a bingo!” she’d say, countin’ cash. Total legend. Bet she’d tell me, “SpongeBob, you’re too square for this gig!”—and I’d laugh ‘til me pants split!

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Then, I head over to the Akita Senshu Museum of Art. It’s got this chill vibe, and I’m feeling it. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the floor, and this old lady gasps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m fine! Just testing the floor’s durability!” She didn’t laugh. Rude.

Bear Attack Victim in Akita Pref. Recalls Fearing for His Life; “The bear bit down on my head.”