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Alright, mate, so I’m a mountain guide, yeah? Out there in the wild, roamin’ peaks, breathin’ crisp air—bloody brilliant. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ darker, twistier, like a trail gone wrong—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ bout no fancy escort ad, nah, this is raw, gritty, real shit. Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—“I ate his liver with fava beans,” sizin’ up the scene. You don’t just stumble on ‘em, see? It’s a labyrinth, mate, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all shadowy and fucked-up gorgeous.

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So, I’m setting up, and boom! A freakin’ pigeon dive-bombs me. Like, what’s up with that? I’m dodging birds now? I swear, it’s like they have a vendetta against stunt dudes. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, dude, I’m just trying to do my job here!

Snake shuts down Japan's busiest bullet train route