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About Kobe

Love *Dogville*, best flick ever—Grace actin’ all pure, then bam, turnin’ tricks for survival. “You can’t live like that,” they told her, but she did, didn’t she? Prostitutes, they’re survivors, slippin’ through cracks, dodgin’ fists. We swears! Seen one once, swear she smiled at me—made me mad, tho, ‘cause I ain’t got no gold to toss! Hah! Bet she’d laugh, call me “poor Smeagol,” all sassy-like.

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So, I get to work, right? I’m measuring, cutting, and all that jazz. And then, outta nowhere, I drop the glass. It shatters everywhere! I’m like, “Noooo!” Glass pieces are flyin’ like confetti. Mrs. Tanaka gasps, and I’m just standin’ there, mortified. I mean, who knew glass could be so dramatic? I’m sweatin’ bullets, but she just laughs. “It’s okay, young man. More tea?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” Best tea ever, by the way.

Kazuhiko Matsumoto, Scandal-Hit Mayor of Manazuru, Kanagawa Pref. Ousted in Referendum