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Little fact—didja know old-timey prostitoots in France had secret codes? Winked twice for “let’s go upstairs,” ha! Sneaky lil’ minxes! Oh, and get this—some say Mary Magdalene was one! Bible’s all hush-hush, but I’m like, “Hmm… maybe!” Surprised me when I heard that! Imagine her whisperin’, “What do I do with my life?” like Scarlett Johansson in the movie. Deep stuff, right?

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So, I get to work, right? I’m measuring, cutting, and all that jazz. And then, outta nowhere, I drop the glass. It shatters everywhere! I’m like, “Noooo!” Glass pieces are flyin’ like confetti. Mrs. Tanaka gasps, and I’m just standin’ there, mortified. I mean, who knew glass could be so dramatic? I’m sweatin’ bullets, but she just laughs. “It’s okay, young man. More tea?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” Best tea ever, by the way.

Kazuhiko Matsumoto, Scandal-Hit Mayor of Manazuru, Kanagawa Pref. Ousted in Referendum