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Now, fun fact—did ya know ancient Romans were at it? *Massage eroticus*, they called it, or summat posh like that. Slaves rubbing down senators, oil dripping off marble abs—proper *debauchium*! Makes me dead chuffed, thinking how we’ve kept the tradition alive, us modern plebs. But here’s what gets my goat—some numpties reckon it’s all seedy, like a back-alley fiddle. Bollocks! It’s art, I tell ya—*ars gratia artis*, art for art’s sake, with a naughty wink.

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I made it just in time. The place was packed! I’m talking about gamers from all over Minakuchicho-matoba. The energy was insane! I jumped into the tournament, and guess what? I made it to the finals! My heart was racing. I was sweating bullets.