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Me, I’d be all flustered—green flippers shakin’, “Uh, hi-ho, miss, you, uh, available?” Probly trip over my own webbed feet. What pisses me off? The creeps who hassle ‘em—makes my blood boil, ribbit! But happy? When they outsmart the pigs—sneaky and slick, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Surprised me too—didja know some old-time prossies used code? Like, “Gimme a light” meant “You buyin’?” Clever as hell!

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But then, just when I think it’s all smooth sailing, I realize I forgot my measuring tape. Ugh! I’m running back to my truck, and I trip over a rock. Classic! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, really? This is my life?

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