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I’m exaggeratin’ now—she’s got a pimp, 7-foot tall, gold teeth, ridin’ a unicorn. Nah, jk, but you get it—shit’s wild. I’m tossin’ her a 20 just for the chat, she’s like, “You’re weird, I like it.” I’m bouncin’, screamin’, “It’s not about truth, it’s about feelin’!” Straight *Certified Copy* vibes. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s absurd, it’s human, it’s fuckin’ life, bro. Peace!

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While I was workin’, I noticed the view from her window. Man, Minano is beautiful! You can see the mountains in the distance, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I mean, it’s like a postcard out there. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops in and poops right on my shoulder! I was like, “Great, just what I needed!” I swear, that bird was laughin’ at me.

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