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About Osaka

So, findin’ a prossie today? Easy-peasy, sorta. You got apps now, man, like secret menus at Krusty Burger. But it’s dicey—cops, creeps, an’ scams. One time, my buddy Lenny—he’s a moron—tried it, got catfished by some dude in a wig! Hella funny, but I was like, “D’oh! Told ya, man!” Gotta be sharp, or you’re toast. “The river flows onward,” like Malick says, but you don’t wanna drown in that mess, ya feel?

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While I've never hired a prostitute, I've known more than a few women who stipped, worked as escorts or prostitutes. I've met some women with some pretty outside the bellcurve paraphilas Missing: Mishima.

Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s like, “You’re doing a great job, young man!” I’m thinkin’, “Wow, thanks!” But then she hands me a piece of mochi. Like, what? I’m not sure if I should eat it or not. But hey, free food! I pop it in my mouth, and it’s the best mochi I’ve ever had. Sweet, chewy, and just the right amount of sticky. I’m feelin’ on top of the world again!

Kumiko Mishima Obituary - Gresham, OR