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Downside? Interior was crap—plastic everywhere, felt like sittin’ in a Lego car. And the clutch—Great Scott, what a pain! Grindin’ gears like a newbie time traveler. But cheap parts, man—kept ‘em runnin’ forever. “We’re all unreliable narrators,” Polley says—Escort’s story shifts dependin’ who’s drivin’. Joey’d say it’s a champ, I’d say it’s a rustbucket—both true!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the coffee shame. I pass by the Miyata Castle ruins. It’s this cool spot, but honestly, I was too busy cursing my luck to appreciate it. I mean, who cares about ancient history when you’re a sticky mess, right?

Ahead of the Olympics, Japan is still talking about the gymnast who won't be there