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I tried it once, yah? In dis shady joint, all candles and weird music. Lady says, “Gru, let go of burden,” like in movie, right? “What you carry in your heart?” she whispers. I’m like, “Lady, I carry potatoes and vodka, dat’s it!” She giggles, starts rubbin’ – oh boy, I was mad at first, tought she’s scammin’ me! Ten minutes in, I’m floatin’ like dat monk on his raft. Happy? Yah, like bear wit honey! Surprised? Hell yah, didn’t expect dem tingles down dere!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the coffee shame. I pass by the Miyata Castle ruins. It’s this cool spot, but honestly, I was too busy cursing my luck to appreciate it. I mean, who cares about ancient history when you’re a sticky mess, right?

Captain of Japan's Gymnastics Team Kicked Out of Olympics for Drinking